July 17th

 It’s such a beautiful day! Blue skies, golden sunshine, occasional fluffy clouds - 👌🏻

Still sleepy today but we woke up early with PB vomiting :( She appears to be better now and hasn’t been since.

The sleeping tablets seem to be working really well - the levels are hugely reduced as compared to what they usually are during this time! 2 days to period.

——-

Lot of work with the house today! As usual, A did more than me. 😬

Some days, I think my gravestone will read: she muddled through life and survived it. I’m never going to be able to rise above self-doubt and self-sabotage, will always fail the important things, and have an ambition and ego greater than my ability. At least I can see it? 🤔

But then, why not try things and learn on the way? How to stop self-sabotage? Will beat this. Will fight it all!

Pain levels included. 

———

Feel like zombie. So much pain. Not sure what’s worse, pain or the guilt and embarrassment going through my head telling me I could do more and A is running around doing all the work 

So zombied that I’m out of words.

———/

20 mins left for sleeping tablet to kick in....sleeeeeeeep! Sleeeeeeep. Y. Yay. Zzz.

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